Christmas 2011 I surprised my pretty boyfriend with 2 tickets to go see Jay & Silent Bob Get Old in February. The second ticket being for me of course (Christmas present for him/treat for myself = Double Whammy!). The tour went to Manchester Friday 17th Feb, so we went with smiles on our faces and excitement filling the little purple Ford.
Not anticipating the short time it would take us to travel there, we arrived early, found a cheeky free parking space, shared our thoughts and possible schemes of getting on stage with the two men, then left to find the nearest pub.
To our delight, the pub, granted it wasn’t as cheap as our local, put smiles on our faces after bracing the chilling British weather. Pints in plastic cups, from a pub?! It seemed like madness to us. So we took our plazzy-pints and took to the streets, to find ourselves hovering around outside the back entrance, hoping to get a glimpse of our favourite two film stars. We didn’t spot them, we didn’t spot anybody, just one other odd looking couple with merchandise for them (Kev Smith & Mewes) to hopefully sign and a pretty impressive canon camera. If I wasn’t in Manchester the Scouser in me probably would have robbed it. Ha.
Anyway, getting back on topic…
Waiting in line outside, was gruelling but we got chatting to yet another couple, oddly about cancer, which left the remaining 20 minutes of queueing more awkward than we would have liked. We thought the queue we joined was big, but at least 300 people joined behind us, and about 150 of them wearing large black jackets an inch from the floor, backwards american sports caps and the majority had an abundance of facial hair.
We finally got in, after a bag search and pocket check, we made our way to the merchandise counter. One of each t-shirt was purchased, a tour shirt and a ‘half half whole’ shirt (try explaining one of those to your mother!). Granted I was shocked at the price of the posters (£15!), I figured, free podcasts, awesome movies, he deserves the profit, so I stopped snubbing the price, then headed to our seats.
6 rows from the front! That is not bad ticket buying, not to blow my own trumpet, but I was impressed with my doing.
After a wait which seemed like forever, they finally entered the stage!
Mr.Smith waltzed on in his usual attire, jeans and his sports-esque shirt advertising his podcast, Clever man, very clever. Mewes however, playing it cool in jeans, trainers, a plain t-shirt and his cap, also backwards.
From the beginning it was a brilliant performance! From not knowing the pair too well (I am in the middle of reading a book of Smiths, but not far enough to know his life story, just half) They were brilliant together. The relationship between the two, was one that would take years if not decades to create. They just spoke and bounced of one another and without any help from the audience could have easily continued to have these random ass conversations, usually around Mewes, his dick and his dick’s adventures, for hours on end and still kept the audience engaged and in awe.
We sat for almost 2 hours , with the occasional rising to our feet to clap or shout for attention and it was one of the most funny, memorable and random few hours of my life. The conversation ran from the sights of Manchester, to Mewes dick, to Gizmo from The Gremlins, back to his dick, to spying on naked men was mistook as a woman, to Kevin’s dogs to then end on a quick game of air-sex.
The two together were inspirational and I can genuinely see why people appreciate the pair and do what they can to meet them, act like them and shadow their life styles, if anybody manages to get anywhere close to where either of them are at, at this point in their lives, 1. Congratulation! And 2. Keep in touch!
Through the whole show I’m pretty sure I related to at least 5 of the conversations they were discussing, two being…
- Being woken up by animals eating the toes of said human. (Cats for me, I was not impressed).
- Being poked in the back in the middle of the night….
Getting a bit less PG now but, I’ve already said bollocks and fuck in previous posts so anybody reading this, has already had their warnings.
If there was one thing I regret from this night, It was not trying hard enough to get myself or my other half noticed while the duo were picking who they would like to have air sex with, again referring to previous posts, if I used my 20 seconds of courage it could have got me somewhere. Shot yourself in the foot a bit there Cairns.
All in all, it was a brilliant show, would be ecstatic if we got the opportunity to go again to another of their shows. So much respect for the duo!! And I look forward to my birthday present of absolutely every Kevin Smith movie to further educated me on the guy.
(That was also a subtle hint in case anybody had forgotten)
Tired now, so I’m going to bed, to star at my glow in the dark stars, plan my tomorrow and probably beat my current paper toss score.
Oh what a life!