FLUKE LIFE

Haven’t tumbl’d in a while..

Since my last post (not even too sure what that was…) I’m pretty sure I’ve done literally nothing different.

I somehow missed out on graduating with all of my course mates over a few marks in one essay, Devastated is an understatement. Although one pro and it is literally the only pro; I get all the attention that day. I’m not a massive attention whore, I’ve only ever had it all to myself, my 21st birthday, at a small family/boyfriend/close friends gathering, I was told to give a speech, to which I told them all to fuck off (politely) and continued to down my drink. I don’t do well with attention. 

I also got a new job, I say new job, but its actually the exact same job, just a further hour away, 28 more hours a week and an absolute pain in the ass. I’ve not admitted everybody else was right till now, but fuck me, travelling is a bitch and my car, poor Pedro, is definitely feeling the strain.

I’m pretty sure that’s all I have to report.

Until I find something else to talk about, Arrivederci!!

What a way to go!

These are the guys I have spent the past 3 years with, and to say it has been uneventful would be an understatement.

I started at Edge Hill University in 2009, straight out of college to take a stab at a degree in Media with advertising as my speciality.

After a lot of presentations, creating advertisements and painfully long lectures, it eventually came to an end, just a few weeks back, and to end the year not only did we all get happily drunk and disorderly but we created a showcase, to represent our three years on the course at Edge Hill University.

We arranged a first meeting to discuss ideas, times and dates, venue and student participation. As a group, we created a task sheet, of what needed to be arranged, purchased and created, we also each put a few pounds towards a money pot, and shared it between people who needed to purchase things. 

My own task was to work with two other people, luckily two very close friends, Josh and Deej (Daniel). Our task was prop manager. 

The theme was old school cinema style, so we came up with the idea to have a red carpet, curtains, velvet rope, anything to do with a cinema. Unfortunately, on the incredibly small budget we had, even after putting our own extra money towards it we were not able to purchase all that we wished for. Finding velvet rope was near enough impossible, The only place to have velvet rope were several universities around the north west, but unfortunately for us assessment week fell upon the week we were putting on our show, so we were unable to borrow or rent any props. 

Another problem we faced, was my lack of knowledge regarding how on earth a person uses Ebay. I purchased several Oscar styled awards, film clappers, film reels and film confetti but none of these arrived on time due to my own fault and not knowing how to correctly use Ebay.

Although this was a problem, the props we were able to find was the red carpet, so there were hints of the theme there, but not too many.

As my one only role didn’t go too well, on the evening of the show I made the decision to hire a SLR camera for an evening and help document the evening.

It was a brilliant event and with the addition of the hidden vodka, it was even better.

What a way to go!

I’m going to be in pain tomorrow!

Recently, I’ve felt a little but down in the dumps about myself. You know, not being happy with the majority of the things, the main ones being the thunder thighs and jiggly tum, so I figured, now is the time to sort it! 

I’m not happy, so best get on it now, get rid and get happy!

So with this thought in my head, I literally ran upstairs to my fitness guru and house mate, Joshua. Being a keen fitness fanatic, I knew doing this would be a step in the right directions, so we discussed tums, bums, and all general wobbly bits. We compared legs, bendiness and general fitness, then came to the conclusion, I am the fatter, less fitter and generally all around less healthy one of the pair and set to make a plan!

With that in mind, we decided on what seemed like six simple tasks to complete each night. Little did I know what I had let myself in store for. 

Said list contained:

• Squats x20
• Left leg lunges x20
• Right leg lungers x20
• Crunches x30
• Planking x60(seconds)
• Push ups x15

I completed about a third of this. After not moving more than 2 metres to get to my car in over two years, I didn’t realise just how much of a challenge this would be for myself, and for ‘Our josh’ to keep me on track and to be my own personal ‘Mr.Motivator’. 

Consider this my first night in training. Actually scratch that, calling it training would suggest I have something to aim for. Which I don’t apart from being happy with my body its more of a test to see if I am in fact capable of doing such activity and whether or not I have the drive in me to continue and maybe step up my game. We’ll see!

So Day One! I created, I tried, I failed, I ached.

I’ll be back, with more updates on my progress soon. I may update daily or weekly, who knows? I may not even be able to hack it tomorrow if I’ll be in as much pain as I assume I’ll be. As I said, Who knows? I’ll get back to you!

(Also, the picture may make my stomach just small/pregnant, but the camera was just being generous)

05:18

Apparently I’m not sleeping this morning. 

Tomorrow, I guess I get my real first insight into how the advertising industry works. 

First Uni trip in the whole 3 years of the course, and we go to the centre of Liverpool,  A place I spent many a Saturday afternoons under-age and getting drunk with goths, druggies, transsexuals, and all sorts of crazy folk. EXCITING!

So I surpose tomorrow is when it may or may not hit me that I actually have to make an effort and that if I do want to continue in this industry when I (hopefully) graduate uni, I must pull my finger out.

I’ve not done a post in a while..

I’m pretty sure my last post was negative to the brim!  I won’t delete it, but i’ll update anybody who cares to read this.

First, there were incidents which caused absolute chaos and although it was not my fault, how it all ‘went down’ was my fault. I should not have mentioned said antics when I did, Lord knows timing is not nor ever will be my strong suit. 

Secondly, a house mate moved out of our little 3 person student home. After me borrowing her my clothes, trusting her with my new possessions I received off loved ones for Christmas (had not even used them yet. - Mahooosive thing about people using my own belongings before I do), rooting through my room, taking clothes, tights, jewellery, demolishing and not replacing anything remotely edible or drinkable, she went and told all of our mutual friends, accommodation, Uni that we kicked her out and have been total pricks and incredibly unreasonable.

I’m only being blunt about it now because we have kept it to ourselves and nobody reads this anyway so its sound.

Bad things happen to good people. I was brought up to ‘Do unto others what you want them to do to you’. I’m a firm believer of karma and good will and what not, if you do good, eventually maybe the same day or a few years down the line, something good will happen in return.

I genuinly have a problem understanding how people can jeopardise relationships they have spent the past 3 or so years building, tear said person apart and get on with their lives.

BAFFLED! 

People..

Jay & Silent Bob Get Old!

Christmas 2011 I surprised my pretty boyfriend with 2 tickets to go see Jay & Silent Bob Get Old in February. The second ticket being for me of course (Christmas present for him/treat for myself = Double Whammy!). The tour went to Manchester Friday 17th Feb, so we went with smiles on our faces and excitement filling the little purple Ford. 

Not anticipating the short time it would take us to travel there, we arrived early, found a cheeky free parking space, shared our thoughts and possible schemes of getting on stage with the two men, then left to find the nearest pub. 

To our delight, the pub, granted it wasn’t as cheap as our local, put smiles on our faces after bracing the chilling British weather. Pints in plastic cups, from a pub?! It seemed like madness to us. So we took our plazzy-pints and took to the streets, to find ourselves hovering around outside the back entrance, hoping to get a glimpse of our favourite two film stars. We didn’t spot them, we didn’t spot anybody, just one other odd looking couple with merchandise for them (Kev Smith & Mewes) to hopefully sign and a pretty impressive canon camera. If I wasn’t in Manchester the Scouser in me probably would have robbed it. Ha. 

Anyway, getting back on topic…

Waiting in line outside, was gruelling but we got chatting to yet another couple, oddly about cancer, which left the remaining 20 minutes of queueing more awkward than we would have liked. We thought the queue we joined was big, but at least 300 people joined behind us, and about 150 of them wearing large black jackets an inch from the floor, backwards american sports caps and the majority had an abundance of facial hair. 

We finally got in, after a bag search and pocket check, we made our way to the merchandise counter. One of each t-shirt was purchased, a tour shirt and a ‘half half whole’ shirt (try explaining one of those to your mother!). Granted I was shocked at the price of the posters (£15!), I figured, free podcasts, awesome movies, he deserves the profit, so I stopped snubbing the price, then headed to our seats.

6 rows from the front! That is not bad ticket buying, not to blow my own trumpet, but I was impressed with my doing.

After a wait which seemed like forever, they finally entered the stage! 

Mr.Smith waltzed on in his usual attire, jeans and his sports-esque shirt advertising his podcast, Clever man, very clever. Mewes however, playing it cool in jeans, trainers, a plain t-shirt and his cap, also backwards.

From the beginning it was a brilliant performance! From not knowing the pair too well (I am in the middle of reading a book of Smiths, but not far enough to know his life story, just half) They were brilliant together. The relationship between the two, was one that would take years if not decades to create. They just spoke and bounced of one another and without any help from the audience could have easily continued to have these random ass conversations, usually around Mewes, his dick and his dick’s adventures, for hours on end and still kept the audience engaged and in awe.  

We sat for almost 2 hours , with the occasional rising to our feet to clap or shout for attention and it was one of the most funny, memorable and random few hours of my life. The conversation ran from the sights of Manchester, to Mewes dick, to Gizmo from The Gremlins, back to his dick, to spying on naked men was mistook as a woman, to Kevin’s dogs to then end on a quick game of air-sex. 

The two together were inspirational and I can genuinely see why people appreciate the pair and do what they can to meet them, act like them and shadow their life styles, if anybody manages to get anywhere close to where either of them are at, at this point in their lives, 1. Congratulation! And 2. Keep in touch!

Through the whole show I’m pretty sure I related to at least 5 of the conversations they were discussing, two being…

1. Being woken up by animals eating the toes of said human. (Cats for me, I was not impressed).
2. Being poked in the back in the middle of the night….

Getting a bit less PG now but, I’ve already said bollocks and fuck in previous posts so anybody reading this, has already had their warnings.

If there was one thing I regret from this night, It was not trying hard enough to get myself or my other half noticed while the duo were picking who they would like to have air sex with, again referring to previous posts, if I used my 20 seconds of courage it could have got me somewhere. Shot yourself in the foot a bit there Cairns.

All in all, it was a brilliant show, would be ecstatic if we got the opportunity to go again to another of their shows. So much respect for the duo!! And I look forward to my birthday present of absolutely every Kevin Smith movie to further educated me on the guy.

(That was also a subtle hint in case anybody had forgotten)

Tired now, so I’m going to bed, to star at my glow in the dark stars, plan my tomorrow and probably beat my current paper toss score.

Oh what a life!

Job applications…

..so far, i’m at nil.

I haven’t done anything, and for the oncoming week I don’t plan on doing much more than anything.

To be quiet honest, although my University would let me have the time off for a work experience or to actually start what would be considered as a ‘proper job’, I’d rather wait till after I’ve hopefully graduated. 

Much rather go through all the hassle of applying, getting knocked back, panicking over interviews and what not, when the time comes, rather than stress over it now and have it interfere with my currently doings, which granted, is not a lot

I’m too laid back for my own good.

Note to self: Buck the fuck up!

Muppets by name, Muppets by nature.

So…

..I got forced to watch the new 2011 Muppets movie a few days ago. Needless to say, it was the most agonising, what seemed like 8 hours, of my life.

I’ve never watched the programme before and I probably should have given it was huge when I was a child, but I’ve never been one to enjoy puppets.

Just tried to get the character names on Google, but its a bloody challenge, all this clicking and scrolling on a Mac which has a broken mouse, too difficult.

Anyway, some have no eyes, some have bollock chins, some can’t say anything and some say too much. Then theres Miss Piggy, she is by far, the most irritating cretin I have ever come across. 

Not my forte, hate the programme, so i’m ending this post with this picture, which is exactly how I wish to see the next instalments of the Muppets….